molded + shaped

I am still single.

A few weeks ago, I went to a Worship Night featuring Bethel Music (one of my absolute favorite groups on earth) with a good friend of mine. This night was, hands down, one of the best experiences I’ve had in college. What I love about Bethel is that they don’t get on stage to perform; they are there to worship Jesus with all they have and to help lead everyone else there to the altar where they can worship most freely and honestly. They continuously encouraged everyone to worship however they felt comfortable, to life up a shout or to sing quietly, to raise their hands or to bow, to do whatever made them feel most close to their Creator. It was an incredible experience that I will never forget, and I’m so glad I was able to share it with such a great friend and brother in Christ.

The worship night consisted of a bunch of new songs found on Bethel’s newest album entitled, “We Will Not Be Shaken.” One of my favorite songs from this album is called “Ever Be.” The lyrics from this song (as well of all the others) are beautiful and such a fantastic reminder of who our God is and why we are made to worship him. Every piece of this song comes from scripture, which I noticed upon first hearing it, and it made me want to seek out the scripture behind it.

{ Your love is devoted like a ring of solid gold, like a vow that is tested, like a covenant of old }

“Understand that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.” –Deuteronomy 7:9

{ Your love is enduring, through the winter rain, and beyond the horizon }

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is Good! His faithful love endures forever.”

-1 Chronicles 16:34

{ With mercy for today }

“Great is his faithfulness; his mercies are new every morning.”

–Lamentations 3:23

{ Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be }

“For great is his love towards us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.” –Psalm 117:2

{ You’re making me like you }

“And all of us who have had the veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Sprit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” -2 Corinthians 3:18

{ Clothing me in white }

“Thought your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” –Isaiah 1:18

{ For your will have her bride, free of all her guilt and rid of all her shame and known by her true name }

“Just as a young man commits himself to his bride, so will your Creator marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.”

–Isaiah 62:5

The more I listen to this song, the more I focus in on the second verse, and those last few lines I listed. “For you are making me like you, clothing me in white, bringing beauty from ashes. For you will have your bride, free of all her guilt and rid of all her shame and known by her true name.” Isn’t that beautiful? That God is molding us to look more like him every day? Even in the midst of all our terrible sin, he is covering us with righteousness and making us look spotless and new. Making us white. Like a bride! The Lord our God wants us to be married to him. He is so selfish for all our love and us, he wants us all to himself. Just as a man and woman are made for each other, God has made us for himself.

These words and verses really resonate with me now, as I am going through this radical sabbatical. I am reminded that God did not create me to require another person to be complete. There is not a soul on this earth that can cleanse me of all my wickedness, that can erase who I once was, that can make me look more like my God. Only God can make me whole. I do not believe that I was placed on this earth to find my soul mate, but rather to attach my soul to the one who created it: my sweet Savior. And while I was worshipping God with reckless abandon, surrounded by hundreds of believes, singing this song, I couldn’t help but realize how amazing this time in my life is. This season of chosen singleness is such a sweet time of intimacy between Jesus and me. It has made me focus on who I am because of him, and who he wants me to be right now, and who is shaping me to become. And that has nothing to do with anyone else, just me and my Savior. He is spending this time with me to make me more like him, so that I may be better equipped to love how he does. And one day, God willing, I will be able to share that love with someone that God has chosen for me. And it will be beautiful and worth waiting for, just as he has promised me, because it will be a love that looks a lot less like 2 people and a lot more like God and the church. I want to love my future husband in the way that God loves his bride, the church. I want to forgive how he does, and offer mercy where it is required, and be fiercely faithful to the one I love. And I believe that I needed this time in my life to realize that, and I could not be more thankful for what God has been revealing to me.

If you are experiencing a season of singleness that has left you feeling lonely or unsatisfied, I encourage you to spend more time in the presence of Jesus. Have a heart that is open to His love, and not necessarily the love of another person. We are in a constant state of being molded and shaped by life and all its experiences, all of which is done by God. And it is through all of these experiences that we become who the Lord has created us to be. Sometimes we are too distracted to see this happening. We are too caught up in relationships with other people to see how desperately he is trying to draw near to us so that he can make us more like him. There is no sweeter relationship that we will ever be apart of than the one God wants to have with us. I believe when we begin to prioritize that above everything else, then we will be prepared to learn how to love people in the way that he has.

God, I am in awe of what you are doing within me. Thank you for revealing to me the satisfying truth of your word, and reminding me that I am complete and righteous in your sight because of what your son has done for me. I love you God, and I want to learn to love as you do. So make me more like you. Press into my life and occupy all its spaces so that everything I do will reflect and glorify you.