awe + wonder

I am a traveler.

If you ever meet me, chances are I am going to bring this up. In the summer of 2013, a group of 13 students from my school and I went on the trip of a lifetime to Europe. We visited Spain, Italy, France, and Monaco. Let me tell you, that trip changed my life (in many different ways, maybe we’ll get to those in another post at a later date).

Among all the places we visited, my favorite single location was Vatican City in Italy. Here, we saw the Sistine Chapel (--unpopular opinion—I was not wowed by the chapel…not to mention the guards were continuously shushing us and moving people around. I mean shouts out to Michelangelo, but maybe my expectations for it were just too high. Anyways, I digress), the square, and then absolutely incredible St. Peter’s Basilica. Oh. My. Goodness. I have never experienced anything so incredible in my life. Walking through that church was the closest I have ever physically felt to God himself. First off, the basilica is MASSIVE. Unreal. There is so much ornate detail in the place, from the architecture to the artwork and sculptures, I was absolutely amazed. Initially, we all went through the church together as a group. But my teacher gave us ample time to explore the basilica and its grounds. So I took the liberty of separating from our group and looking around on my own. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at all of the incredible beauty in the church. I remember thinking, “God created the person that made this. And that person made this just for God! How incredible.”

When I look back on my trip to the basilica, I can still vividly remember the things I saw. Exact works of art. The large golden structure that sits in the center. The sculptures all around. The pews. I still feel like I am there when I close my eyes. I had an emotional and spiritual experience in that church. My body reacted to what it saw. I was in awe of a building. And yes, it certainly had something to do with the fact that it was a church, and I definitely believe I felt God’s presence as I stood there. I was amazed.

But in reality, the basilica is just another beautiful building. I saw hundreds of incredible works of architecture in Europe. But they were just buildings. Just physical things created by men.

Often times during musical worship, I become very emotional. I can hear a song by Hillsong or Bethel Live on Spotify while I’m driving and begin to get teary-eyed. I can be standing up during the worship time of a church service and my voice goes shaky and I raise my hands and feel a strange transcendence. I feel so connected to the Spirit. And there is NOTHING wrong with this. I believe that worship, of any kind, is the purest demonstration of our love to God. Reading his word, singing praises to him, bowing at his feet, lifting our hands, being in prayer with him: it is a one-on-one connection with him. No outside interference, no works being done, nothing to prove, just you and God falling madly in love. But sometimes, I don’t know if I become emotional during worship because I am in awe of God or because of some other emotional element. There are times when we are more emotionally sensitive (especially us girls). There are songs that hit us in just the right spot. There are scriptures that say exactly what we needed to hear. There are things that are so beautiful that we can hardly comprehend them. There is a basilica that was so ornate that I became teary-eyed.

But emotional responses do not constitute out faith in Christ Jesus. People who raise their hands in worship are not necessarily more “spiritually connected” than anyone else in the room. Crying at the basilica did not make me a radical Christian. We are emotional creatures. Sometimes I cry when I listen to secular music. Sometimes I cry when an ASPCA commercial comes on, or when I miss my mom, or when I see a newborn baby. I am emotional. We all are.

Jesus was even emotional! Jesus spent time with people who were grieving. “Jesus wept” (John 11:35) with Mary and Martha after the death of his dear follower Lazarus (even though he knew he would raise him from the dead; isn’t Jesus the absolute best at feeling for us even though he was God? Incredible if you ask me). And the bible encourages us to express emotion as well.

           

            "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” –Romans 12:15

“A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance;”

– Ecclesiastes 3:4

Having a strong relationship with Christ requires so much more than emotional responses. We must invest our time into knowing him. We must read the sweet love letter he has left us. We must open his word, for it is the greatest tool we have for fighting the Evil One and becoming the people he created us to be. Yes, God’s love for us is incomparable. Immeasurable. Awesome and wondrous. And yes, our worship experiences are a fantastic opportunity to experience that love. But truly understanding the depths of it, the thousands of years worth of stories impacted by it, the people he chose to share it, all comes from gaining more real knowledge of him and what he has done through the Bible.

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.” –Romans 15:4

“Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.” –Psalm 119:18

“Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” –Psalm 119:105

This year, I have been encouraged to strengthen my faith and grow closer to the Father by spending more meaningful time with him and his Word. It has become a joy to read scripture and learn about him and the works or his chosen people. I have loved becoming more literate with his Story. And I would encourage everyone else to do the same. Spending sweet time with Jesus can mean just about anything, but go beyond your regular routine and carve out intentional time for getting to know him. This will undoubtedly make you more aware of his presence and what he wants to do specifically in your life.

           

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is true worship. Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” –Romans 12:1-2

The basilica still gives me chills. But what makes it even more impressive to me now is what I learned about it. The construction of the basilica took 120 years. The art of the dome was designed and redesigned by Michelangelo, who spent years drawing out the plans and art. Thousands of people contributed to what would become one of the largest and most well-known churches in the world. The basilica is beautiful, I can see it and feel it. But knowing all that was required to make it beautiful only makes it even more awesome. God is beautiful even at first glance. But his stories, both in the Word and the one he is creating within you, are worth aweing over. God is a beautiful basilica and you are an ornate piece within it.

Father, thank you for creating me and this planet and everything in it. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to get to know you. Thank your for your Word, and most importantly your love. Please draw near to me God, as I draw near to you. I long to know more of your heart so that I may learn to love as you do.